Being Alone

Today I am alone. I have always been alone. I can be in a room filled with people and yet I am still alone. There is nobody out there that thinks that I am number 1. No one that I can tell my pain or my pleasure to and not a single person who I could ever truly trust. I find comfort in animals who do not judge me or anyone. Their love is unconditional. They never lie or cheat. They are faithful and loyal not because you asked them to be but because it is built in to what they are. I can't remember ever being let down or disappointed by a pet. My dog has never bad mouthed me to the other dogs. He has never hurt me either. I don't expect he ever will. Knowing this, I should have just been satisfied with me and dogs tiny existence, but I was not. Now I am paying the price for trying to be a part of the world of lemmings and oh does it cost much. Feels like having your heart and soul ripped right out of you slowly and with as much hate and despise as there ever was. People are vicious and cruel. They all have one focus and it isn't a good one. Knowing this should have kept me safe, but it did not. So if I survive this, and I am pretty sure I will, so that my chances of suffering some more are much greater, I will embrace "ALONE" and stay within the comfort of it's darkness forever. I don't need anything from the people, and the love that I once had for them, the care and the hope and anything from my heart, is gone with the heart that has been ripped from me. Leave me alone, don't come near and never ask me for anything again because I don't have it you have taken it all.