Depression is a huge part of my life. I hate to admit that. The commercials for all those different drugs that they say help with depression and anxiety, you've seen them.....? They say millions of Americans suffer from some form of depression. Then why do we all feel so alone if there are millions of us?! Couldn't we all gather together and just wade around in our deep dark sadness together? Then at least the loneliness factor would be answered, right? No. Where then, does the answer lie? I know that I didn't fall in to this deep dark hole in my heart by consuming a bunch of pills, so what would make some one believe that the pills would fix me and my sadness? I sometimes see the answer to the question but it's so far away beyond my reach that I often give up and accept the cold familiar feeling of it all and slip down into it with out a fight. There have been times that I just woke to find myself there already. I don't know who I am at that point and there is no will to win and no logical explanations as to why I can't just walk it off. For those of you out there who don't have depression or anxiety or maybe you just don't know what it is, there is no way you can ever truly know what that's like, and it doesn't matter how well I describe it or any one else describes it either.I have been in therapy for years and taken many,many different types of meds to try to help myself, at times, attempting to save my own life. In my opinion, the feeling of being all alone is the worst part and the hardest to deal with. Over the years, I have had some good therapists and have made huge strides of success in my life. But there is no cure, and I am reminded constantly that I will never be %100. That what happened to me as a child and the genetic pool that I come from stole away my right to a normal happy life with out therapy, medication, and The Deep Dark Sadness.
8 comments:
I understand u. It hurts bad. What if this life were all we had? But its not...I know this for sure.
Talk to me some and I'll tell you the cure.
Dear Chilly-Chan
i am writing for u as a brother in humanity ,i can understand what u feel and what your talking about , i had lived in middle of crises for years and years and the only one that help me to get over all that was god , for me i believe in god i dont know about u , i am a muslim and i believe in Islam am not telling u that to become a muslim , what i am telling u billion's of people around the world believe in god but they worship him in different ways , for me religion gives youre internal peace it gives us a meaning for our lives , its ask u to do things such as work and not to do things such as stealing thats what will make for our lives a meaning . So at the end all what i can tel u that u have to find youre self in this world by believing in idea or concept to live for it and work for it at that time u will be happy because u are doing something useful even if u doing it for something u cant see it like god but then u can fell him in every breath u take ..
ps: i am ready to help u in any way i can if u ask for it .
when I was a teen I used to try to explain people what was depresion all about, but no one never really understood, then i realice what u say, u r 100% right, if u haven't live it, u can't understand it. and well, it's even worst for me because I actually look like a happy person and people often believe I'm liyng so I can get my meds.
Well, actually I can't really tell if it's worst for me because I don't know u, but it's pretty bad.
If U want a friend to share the depresion experience -sometimes miserably fun, sometimes just miserable. I'm here.
I ran across your blog because I liked the picture of the sad robot (?). Felt compelled to share something I've learned - and come to accept - about being alone. We're all alone at our core. No matter who is in our lives and who may be around us...in those moments when no one else is there, there is a vacancy that is frightening because it is that moment in which we realize we don't "belong" anywhere and are strangers even unto ourselves. From a book I read, "...instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness." Aloneness and loneliness are two different things.
Hello sad person. I too loved the image - I guess it is a robot but for some reason I saw him like a grass man as if he was part of his surroundings. I have never been 'depressed' so perhaps am one of the people who will never understand. My life though has been devastated by sadness and loss and believe you me there is not a 'happy' world out there that is something autonomous and stable and seperate from yours. Even those of us who have no diagnosis of depression can feel utter pain and paralysing sadness . I write this partly to help you realise that you are part of all our worlds and that it is not only people with mental ill health who understand you. And I agree sometimes just accepting how you feel is the most comforting place to go. I think there is lots of philosophies written about this and the fact at the end of the day the truth is we really do only have ourselves. And perhaps learning to feel strong within yourself is the only way you will free yourself from this lonely place.
K
Hello sad person. I too loved the image - I guess it is a robot but for some reason I saw him like a grass man as if he was part of his surroundings. I have never been 'depressed' so perhaps am one of the people who will never understand. My life though has been devastated by sadness and loss and believe you me there is not a 'happy' world out there that is something autonomous and stable and seperate from yours. Even those of us who have no diagnosis of depression can feel utter pain and paralysing sadness . I write this partly to help you realise that you are part of all our worlds and that it is not only people with mental ill health who understand you. And I agree sometimes just accepting how you feel is the most comforting place to go. I think there is lots of philosophies written about this and the fact at the end of the day the truth is we really do only have ourselves. And perhaps learning to feel strong within yourself is the only way you will free yourself from this lonely place.
K
http://eddietheyeti.deviantart.com/art/Proximus-Morte-393372840
I get it....
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