Being Alone

Today I am alone. I have always been alone. I can be in a room filled with people and yet I am still alone. There is nobody out there that thinks that I am number 1. No one that I can tell my pain or my pleasure to and not a single person who I could ever truly trust. I find comfort in animals who do not judge me or anyone. Their love is unconditional. They never lie or cheat. They are faithful and loyal not because you asked them to be but because it is built in to what they are. I can't remember ever being let down or disappointed by a pet. My dog has never bad mouthed me to the other dogs. He has never hurt me either. I don't expect he ever will. Knowing this, I should have just been satisfied with me and dogs tiny existence, but I was not. Now I am paying the price for trying to be a part of the world of lemmings and oh does it cost much. Feels like having your heart and soul ripped right out of you slowly and with as much hate and despise as there ever was. People are vicious and cruel. They all have one focus and it isn't a good one. Knowing this should have kept me safe, but it did not. So if I survive this, and I am pretty sure I will, so that my chances of suffering some more are much greater, I will embrace "ALONE" and stay within the comfort of it's darkness forever. I don't need anything from the people, and the love that I once had for them, the care and the hope and anything from my heart, is gone with the heart that has been ripped from me. Leave me alone, don't come near and never ask me for anything again because I don't have it you have taken it all.  

Dog-The Spirit Who Walks Beside Me

A dogs life is far to short. The breed I love the most is statistically given about 12 years of life. Like people, not all of those years are going to be quality years of life either. Age makes us all weak and vulnerable even dogs.
12 Years seems like a long time when you bring home your new puppy who usually starts his or her life with you at about 6 weeks of age.  I have never had a bad dog, quite the opposite! All of my dogs have been beyond special in so many ways. By the time they reach their golden years with me they have completely integrated their lives with mine and we are one. We don't need any verbal communications, as we are already reading each others minds. He/She just knows. I am aspiring to be a dog trainer, but I can't help thinking that it may not be that I am a talented dog whisperer but that the breed I have chosen is a talented people whisperer! They are so very intelligent. They are emotional and deep beyond any one's expectations. Not to mention loyal and faithful to the end even if the end is bitter.
Strangely enough, these characteristics came with the package man created to be a bloody and violent spectator sport tool. Designed to perform and please his master, in the art of fighting he has a heart of steel and the endurance to go on and on. He has natural pain tolerance unlike any other dog breed and he is infused with far more tenacity and vigor than the other breeds as well. I will never own any other breed, but that's not to say that I don't love all dogs because I do.
I consider all the dogs I have loved to be gifts from a higher being that saw fit to send those spirits to walk beside me on all my journeys and through out the coarse of my life. And I can not thank that gawd enough for such a great gift. I can not imagine my life without a dog in it.